It’s not a kiss. It’s not a confession. It’s better. It’s a promise. Jacob thinks he is a world traveler because he studied abroad in Prague for one semester. He insists he knows how to “properly” smoke a hookah. He ends up coughing for four minutes straight, knocks over a coal tray (no one is hurt, don’t worry), and has to be fanned down by the actual owner of the lounge who speaks only Arabic and keeps calling Jacob “habibi” ironically.

If there is one thing Abbott Elementary does better than any other sitcom on TV right now, it is the holiday episode. We’ve had the Zoom Christmas disaster. We’ve had the Valentine’s Day juice disaster. But Season 2, Episode 10, “Holiday Hookah,” is the crown jewel of the series’ ability to blend cringe-worthy comedy with genuine, tear-jerking heart.

It’s a perfect Jacob moment: humiliating, well-intentioned, and educational. “Holiday Hookah” is not just a funny episode. It’s a thesis statement for Abbott Elementary . The show argues that found family doesn’t have to be a turkey dinner by a fireplace. Sometimes, found family is watching your Sunday school teacher get giggly on apple-flavored smoke while your principal tries to DJ using a cracked iPhone.

The final shot is perfect: The teachers are kicked out of the lounge at 2 AM. They’re standing in a snowy, empty parking lot. Barbara is leaning on Melissa. Jacob is holding a bag of frozen peas to his forehead. Janine is holding the succulent. Gregory is holding Janine’s elbow. And Ava yells, “Who wants Waffle House?” They all shuffle toward the car, laughing.

Merry Christmas, Abbott. You absolute mess. A-

They step outside into the Philly cold. The hookah lounge’s neon sign flickers. Janine hands him a present: a tiny succulent for his desk because “you keep killing the fake plant I gave you, so I got you a real one so you’d have to try harder.”