He fell in slow motion, which was ironic because real life was now happening at 50 frames per second in Ultra HD. He hit the mud with a sound like a dropped lasagna. The cameras zoomed in. Somewhere in the control booth, a director whispered, "Beautiful. Beautiful. "

"Day nine," he croaked into the mossy bark of a challenge pole. "I have eaten a fermented sea urchin's cousin. I have been bitten by something that looked like a handbag. And I have listened to Brenda from Baking Your Best Life talk about her gluten-free sourdough starter for six hours ."

The crab scuttled away.

And in the control room, the "Watch in 2160p 4K UHD" button flashed green, waiting to be pressed.

As he lay there, staring up at the impossibly blue Greek sky, a crab the size of his fist crawled onto his chest. It held up one tiny claw, as if hailing a taxi.

The challenge was called "Hades' Ladder." A vertical, greasy pole stretching thirty feet over a rocky inlet. At the top: a golden star. At the bottom: a pit of what they called "Ambrosia Mud" but smelled exactly like the fermented sea urchin's cousin.

Kieran lunged. His fingers brushed the star. Then the pole won.