Night High | 4 !full!

I don't want to sleep. Not because I'm not tired—I am, bone-tired in a way that sleep might not even cure—but because leaving Night High 4 means admitting that this strange, hollow, beautiful state will end. And then it will be morning, and the world will demand things again.

On Night High 4, the walls breathe. Not metaphorically—you can see the plaster expand and contract, just at the edge of vision. The laptop screen casts a pale blue glow on my hands, and my fingers look like they belong to someone else. I type a sentence, delete it. Type another. Delete that too. night high 4

Somewhere, a train horn in the distance. A sound like a question mark. I don't want to sleep

I think about the other three nights. Night High 1: the initial decision to stay awake, fueled by purpose or avoidance. Night High 2: the slump, the bargaining with yourself ("just thirty more minutes"). Night High 3: the breakthrough, when the world goes quiet and your thoughts run clear and cold like mountain water. On Night High 4, the walls breathe